News4Jews.blogspot.com

Friday, July 3, 2009

Jewish v. Goyish

"Jewish Vs. Goyish"

Judges Are Jewish
Juries Are Goyish

Packing all the mini hotel shampoos is Jewish
Using them is Goyish

Ordering family style is Jewish
Ordering a la carte is Goyish

Cruises are Jewish
Walking tours are Goyish

Laugh-In was Jewish
Hee Haw was Goyish

Grabbing lox from the back of the buffet first,
is Jewish
Grabbing melon from the front is Goyish

Bunions are Jewish
Flat feet are Goyish

Simon Says is Jewish
The Hokey Pokey is Goyish

"Bewitched" is Jewish
"I Dream of Jeannie" is Goyish

The Limbo is Jewish
Line dancing is Goyish

Picking from your mate's plate is Jewish
Not wanting even a "little taste" is Goyish

Fruitcake is Goyish
Fruit and cake is Jewish

Reading "how-to" books is Goyish
Writing "how-to" books is Jewish

ESPN is Goyish
PBS is Jewish

Tiffany's is Goyish
Your Uncle Ira in the Jewelry District is Jewish

Passing bars is Goyish
Passing the Bar Exam is Jewish

DIY (Do it Yourself) is Goyish
PAG (Pay A Goy who knows what he's doing)
is Jewish

Mary Kay is Goyish
Murray the K is Jewish

The Chia pet infomercial is Goyish
Ronco spray-on hair is Jewish

Morbidly obese is Goyish
Baby fat is Jewish

NASCAR is Goyish. Period.

West Coast is Goyish
East Coast is Jewish

Lunch meat is Goyish
Deli is Jewish

White bread is Goyish
Rye is Jewish

Sushi is Jewish
Chopsticks are Goyish

Comforters are Goyish

Suspenders are Jewish

Waldbaum's was Jewish
A&P was Goyish.
(Now A&P is the parent company of Waldbaum's!)

Alan Sherman was Jewish
Weird Al Yankovic, not so much

Laughing at someone else's troubles is Goyish
Laughing at your own troubles is Jewish

"Youngsters" are Goyish,
"Kids" are Jewish

Buttering bread is Goyish;
Spreading margarine is Jewish

Sitting quietly to get served is Goyish
Standing and waving one's hands is Jewish

I have just one thing to say about the Heineken
can. Maybe beer is Goyish, but Freddie Heineken,
the founder of the Heineken Brewery in Amsterdam
(a very Jewish city) was a Jewish man...just thought
to tell you that...well, pointing this out is Jewish too
I think...

WWF is Goyish
the NBA is Jewish

Tattoos and piercing are Goyish
Diamonds and pearls are Jewish

Ham sandwiches are Goyish
Corned beef on rye is Jewish

White sox are Goyish
No sox are Jewish

Saving Money is Goyish
Investing money is Jewish

Snowmobiling is Goyish
Skiing is Jewish

Doing Landscaping is Goyish
Hiring a Landscaper is Jewish

Beer is Goyish
Wine is Jewish

Frizzy hair is Jewish
Stick straight flat hair is Goyish

A party that revolves around the buffet table
is Jewish
A party that revolves around the bar is Goyish!

Making lists of what's Jewish and what's not ..
well..... it is VERY VERY Jewish!!

Monday, June 29, 2009

Chavez Steps Up Attacks On Jews

From the beginning of his rule in Venezuela, Hugo Chavez has stridently criticized Israel. In recent months, Chavez has found a more vulnerable target: the Jewish population inside Venezuela.

Last week, an angry mob broke out in Miranda, Venezuela's second largest state. Reports indicate that the Mayor of Miranda's capital city incited an angry group of Chavez supporters to paint Nazi swastikas on the home of an anti-Chavez Jewish politician, Governor Henrique Capriles Radonski. "We are showing Capriles that …people are opposed to his continuous attacks against the initiatives and socialist projects of president Chávez," explained Los Teques Mayor Alirio Mendoza.

Read the rest.

Saturday, June 27, 2009

Israeli Player Drafted in 1st Round of NBA Draft

Headlines in Maariv Friday declared, "History has been made," The Jerusalem Post said, "Israel's Omri Casspi picked in NBA draft, and Haaretz ran with the headline "Israeli basketball star Omri Casspi picked in first round of NBA draft."

Read the rest.

Sunday, June 21, 2009

Kosher Teeth (humor)

Morris Rabinowitz in the late 1930's fled his native land of Germany . He sold all his assets and converted it to gold and then had 5 sets of solid gold false teeth made.

When he arrived in New York the customs official was perplexed as to why anybody would have 5 sets of gold teeth. So Morris explained.

"We Jews have two separate sets of dishes for meat products and dairy products but I am so kosher and religious I also have separate sets of teeth."

The customs official shook his head and said, "Well that accounts for two sets of teeth. What about the other three?"

Morris then said "Vell, us very religious Jews use separate dishes for Passover, but I am so religious I have separate teeth, one for meat and one for dairy food.

The customs official slapped his head and then said, "You must be a very religious man with separate teeth for food and dairy products and likewise for Passover. That accounts for four sets of teeth. What about the fifth set?"

"Vell, to tell you the truth, once in a while I like a ham sandwich."