Yiddish with Dick and Jane

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Dear Bintel Brief: My Husband's Atheism Is Cramping My Style

Dear Bintel Brief,

My husband and I had a Jewish home. We were active members of our synagogue and celebrated all the Jewish holidays. My husband recently declared himself an atheist and gave up on all things religious. I still want to light candles and celebrate Shabbat, have seders, etc., but he refuses to participate. His hostility has put a damper on my ardor. I don't want to be the only one in my home to keep up Jewish traditions. What should I do?

Read the answer.

Jews match boycotts with emails and spending

This is just smart...


A liquor store sells out of Israeli kosher wine. The Royal Ontario Museum sees a sudden surge in online ticket sales to its Dead Sea Scrolls exhibit.

Not the outcome one would expect from two recent boycotts meant to protest Israel's handling of the Palestine situation, but that's what happened – thanks to the power of the Internet and a change in course by the Jewish community.

Read the rest.

Palestinian TV Strikes Again: Kids' Show Glorifies Killing Jews

The Hamas TV children's program Tomorrow's Pioneers produced a special broadcast in which the two young children of a female suicide terrorist were invited to the TV studio to watch a video re-enactment of their mother's suicide bombing. The terrorist, Reem Riyashi, killed four Israelis in a suicide bombing in 2004.

Israeli Grows World's Largest Cucumber

Petah Tikva resident Yitzhak Yazdanpana has set the new world record for growing the longest cucumber. Working out of his home garden, Yazdanpana grew a three-foot, ten-inch long cucumber (about 117 cm). He said he didn't use any chemical fertilizers.

Yazdantana said on Tuesday that he hopes the cucumber will be entered into the Guinness Book of World Records.

Jewish v. Goyish

"Jewish Vs. Goyish"

Judges Are Jewish
Juries Are Goyish

Packing all the mini hotel shampoos is Jewish
Using them is Goyish

Ordering family style is Jewish
Ordering a la carte is Goyish

Cruises are Jewish
Walking tours are Goyish

Laugh-In was Jewish
Hee Haw was Goyish

Grabbing lox from the back of the buffet first,
is Jewish
Grabbing melon from the front is Goyish

Bunions are Jewish
Flat feet are Goyish

Simon Says is Jewish
The Hokey Pokey is Goyish

"Bewitched" is Jewish
"I Dream of Jeannie" is Goyish

The Limbo is Jewish
Line dancing is Goyish

Picking from your mate's plate is Jewish
Not wanting even a "little taste" is Goyish

Fruitcake is Goyish
Fruit and cake is Jewish

Reading "how-to" books is Goyish
Writing "how-to" books is Jewish

ESPN is Goyish
PBS is Jewish

Tiffany's is Goyish
Your Uncle Ira in the Jewelry District is Jewish

Passing bars is Goyish
Passing the Bar Exam is Jewish

DIY (Do it Yourself) is Goyish
PAG (Pay A Goy who knows what he's doing)
is Jewish

Mary Kay is Goyish
Murray the K is Jewish

The Chia pet infomercial is Goyish
Ronco spray-on hair is Jewish

Morbidly obese is Goyish
Baby fat is Jewish

NASCAR is Goyish. Period.

West Coast is Goyish
East Coast is Jewish

Lunch meat is Goyish
Deli is Jewish

White bread is Goyish
Rye is Jewish

Sushi is Jewish
Chopsticks are Goyish

Comforters are Goyish

Suspenders are Jewish

Waldbaum's was Jewish
A&P was Goyish.
(Now A&P is the parent company of Waldbaum's!)

Alan Sherman was Jewish
Weird Al Yankovic, not so much

Laughing at someone else's troubles is Goyish
Laughing at your own troubles is Jewish

"Youngsters" are Goyish,
"Kids" are Jewish

Buttering bread is Goyish;
Spreading margarine is Jewish

Sitting quietly to get served is Goyish
Standing and waving one's hands is Jewish

I have just one thing to say about the Heineken
can. Maybe beer is Goyish, but Freddie Heineken,
the founder of the Heineken Brewery in Amsterdam
(a very Jewish city) was a Jewish man...just thought
to tell you that...well, pointing this out is Jewish too
I think...

WWF is Goyish
the NBA is Jewish

Tattoos and piercing are Goyish
Diamonds and pearls are Jewish

Ham sandwiches are Goyish
Corned beef on rye is Jewish

White sox are Goyish
No sox are Jewish

Saving Money is Goyish
Investing money is Jewish

Snowmobiling is Goyish
Skiing is Jewish

Doing Landscaping is Goyish
Hiring a Landscaper is Jewish

Beer is Goyish
Wine is Jewish

Frizzy hair is Jewish
Stick straight flat hair is Goyish

A party that revolves around the buffet table
is Jewish
A party that revolves around the bar is Goyish!

Making lists of what's Jewish and what's not ..
well..... it is VERY VERY Jewish!!